Sunday Afternoon Sulking

Can you see that? Real Feel 33-degrees...you know what that is? That is the first time THIS YEAR that the temp has felt above freezing! But do you know where I am? If you guessed getting ready to go for a run in this amazing "feels like" weather, you are wrong. I'm at work...while my running group is getting together for a virtual race, while my family is out cross country skiing. While all other Minnesotans are outside, relishing this small break from the deep freeze..I'm at work, sulking.

You know what could make this a little less depressing? If I could partake of some of the chocolate-covered goodies that are just sitting in the hospitality room next door to me, calling out my name "Linda, we are so rich and creamy and delicious, come eat us!" You know what else would make this less depressing, is if when I go to meet up with my running group later for the Happy Hour social after the virtual race I could have a cocktail or some pub food along with everyone else. But no, I'll be adhering to my Whole 30 plan...club soda with lemon for me, taking a hard pass on the margarita and loaded nachos.

Day 21 of the Whole 30 is much easier than Day 4 was...but now I'm in this phase of "I've made it 21 days, that's about 20 days longer than I thought I would make it, let's call it good and drink margaritas". But I'm not going to stop, I'm not going to cheat. It's still hard, but I've come to peace with passing up goodies, I'm feeling zen about not having cocktails, I'm actually enjoying discovering new food and new ways of preparing things, I am not missing bread or having milk in my coffee...it's working...I'm winning...I do feel more energized, I am sleeping better, the plan is delivering on it's promises.

Last night at dinner my husband said to me "it will be nice when you are back to eating normally again". I didn't think much of it at the time. We had been having a discussion about our budget, so I assumed he meant it from a financial stand point, as I have certainly spent a lot more in groceries this month than normal. But this morning it started to bother me...what if I don't want to go back to "eating normally" when I'm done. What if I want to keep this up as a permanent change in my lifestyle? I mean, I will certainly allow myself an occasional sugary, gluten-y indulgence, and a cocktail here and there...but I really like what I have cultivated over the past 21 days, I don't ever want to get to a place again with my eating where I feel like I HAVE to do the Whole 30 plan to stop bad habits. I started feeling resentful that they haven't tried to embrace eating this way too...why do I have to go back to "normal". But, I reminded myself that they have been supportive...they haven't flaunted their food in my face, my daughter has actually seemed interested in learning about the new things I'm eating, even if she hasn't wanted to try many of them. Then, a friend pointed out that maybe they just miss the "social" aspect of us all eating together and that was the "normal" he was referring to. And it's true...even though I have still been eating most meals with them, I am never eating the same thing. I finish my meals first and then just sit there, probably staring forlornly at their food...maybe it's likely that early on my deprivation came across as depression to them, and they just want breakfast and dinner to go back to being the fun family affair we all looked forward to each day. So I'll need to spend the next 8 1/2 days figuring out how to reach a middle ground. How to keep up with the plan while not unconsciously blaming my family for indulging without me at each meal.

So, since I have made it to Day 21, I should share some of the things I have discovered that have made my life a lot less miserable over the past three weeks:

1. Trader Joe's Almond Butter: Peanut Butter is a no-no on the plan, as are a lot of other "butters" because they contain added sugar (side note: do you know that pretty much EVERYTHING has added sugar?!? Gah, reading labels has become like a game of hide and seek for me!). Anyway, I discovered Trader Joe's Raw Almond butter is just almonds, no salt, no sugar, but still super-yummy. I eat it on apples, bananas, celery sticks, and sometimes I just lick it off  a spoon (don't judge).

2. Frozen Fruit/Coconut Milk Sorbet: This has been my go to "dessert" on nights when I need something sweet after dinner. I've done frozen mango, bananas, pineapple, and strawberries and it is DIVINE! My Magic Bullet does not like to do it unless I have more coconut milk than fruit, so I've resorted to making it in my giant food processor, which is a pain to clean up...but oh so worth it!

3. Brussels Sprouts: All my life I have listened to my inner-8 year old who told me that Brussels Sprouts are gross. You what inner-8 year old? You can shove it. Brussels Sprouts roasted with some olive oil and garlic are THE BOMB! Some day I will convince my actual 8-year old daughter to try them (she of course currently thinks they are gross)...I don't want anyone I am related to to grow up without the joy of eating theses little pieces of heaven!

4. Eating the same thing for breakfast everyday is kind of liberating: Every day for the past 21 days i have had the exact same thing for breakfast...scrambled eggs with spinach and salsa (Trader Joes' no sugar added salsa verde). And I'm telling you, waking up not wondering what I am going to make for breakfast has been a time saver, and I actually really look forward to it!

5. Coffee is my life-blood: No elaboration necessary, if it wasn't for coffee, it's likely someone would have been murdered by my hands in the past 21 days. Long live coffee!!!

Alright, thanks for letting me vent. I actually feel a lot less sulky after getting this all off my chest. I only have three hours left of work before I can go meet up with my running buddies and drink a club soda with lemon...which will be just fine since I am determined to leave this experiment knowing that coming together over food and drink can still be a fun social event, even if our party favors are different!