Whole-ly Crap!

I love to eat, I love sweets, I love bread, and not JUST bread, I love all things-gluten. In fact, we buy High Gluten flour at our house...screw gluten-free, give us ALL THE GLUTEN!

Thankfully I also love to run, so the fact that I love to eat is tempered by the fact that I generally exercise enough to burn off most of those calories before my pants decide they aren't going to button up. However, I went completely off the rails over the holidays. I mean OFF. THE. RAILS. I couldn't even see the train yard, that's how far off I went. Every cookie, candy, bread, and gravy-covered foodstuff went directly into my mouth. Plus, I have barely run since my half marathon in October...so needless to say, I've been forgoing pants with buttons for the past few weeks. What's worse is all the unnecessary carb-loading created, for lack of a better term, a sugar-addiction! It would seem I couldn't get enough sweets, I was desperately craving them at all hours of the day...it was bad...I knew I had to do something drastic (and I mean REALLY drastic, as I would generally call having to put 2% milk instead of half & half in my coffee drastic!)

So, I found the Whole 30 Food Plan. I didn't want to go out and buy the book, I get WHY I'm doing it, I didn't really need a lesson in the psychology behind why I should eat whole foods, I just needed them to tell me what to eat so I could hopefully tame this sugar-monster I had suddenly created. If you want the cliff-notes version, I basically cannot get anything with sugar, sugar substitute or added sweeteners, no gluten or grains of any kind, no dairy, no legumes, no alcohol! Essentially "whole" foods. Meats (as long as they are not processed), veggies (except corn and peas, which really should be called "starches" anyway), fruit, herbs & spices, and COFFEE (which I should note is the ONLY reason I agreed to this crazy thing...I mean giving up sugar is going to be impossible enough, but sugar AND coffee, not happening!)  If you want to know what I can eat, you can check out their handy shopping list here. What I have been "promised" by the creators of this plan is that if I can give up sugar and gluten for 30 days I am going to train my brain not to crave them anymore. If this is true, I will pledge my undying allegiance to them...if it doesn't work, well, I guess I'll have a good story to tell.

I started this plan on Monday, so I'm halfway into day five, and I can tell you one thing....IT IS REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, HARD. On Monday my kids wanted pancakes for breakfast, yes, sugary, gluten-y, syrup-y, delcious pancakes...and I had to make them, and I had to not shove 3 or 4 of them in my mouth when they weren't looking. I have had to make my own dinner every night (I know, boo hoo, but when you are used to your husband making you amazing dinners every night, this is a hard thing to get used to, plus I have to sit there with my spinach salad and watch them eat pasta and honey sesame chicken, gah!) I have had horrible headaches and nearly insatiable cravings for the past four days. Yesterday was a little better, my head was "aching dully" instead of "throbbing madly!!" plus I discovered frozen mango cubes at Trader Joe's. These things are so amazing! It was like eating a delicious frozen sorbet for dessert...now I just have to try to stop myself from eating nothing but frozen mango cubes for the next 25 days.

This weekend is going to be the ultimate test. We have a meet, not just any meet, but a meet run by Team Foxjet...the best hospitality providers on the planet. I swear every person on this team either owns a bakery or lives next door to someone who owns a bakery. There is an endless supply of sweets, plus they bring in Pizza Luce, D'Amicos, and French Meadow. And they guy who's in charge??? His wife owns Nothing Bundt Cakes...a delightful little Bundt cake shop...where they specialize in these:

Yeah...I'm screwed.

But, I have a small fire of determination, that I am hoping will turn into a blazing inferno of will power. I'll keep you updated on my progress, and you all can say a little prayer that everyone on Team Foxjet somehow also decided to go on the Whole 30 plan over the holidays.